Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Day 51

Day 6 Maintenance
182.2 lbs
TL: 26.8 lbs
FMW: +.2lbs

Are you seeing this? Is this not amazing? I'm only up .4 lbs today. I had a brownie bite, a bite of cupcake, chicken nuggets and french fries and I'm only up .4 lbs, only .2 lbs over my goal weight, and I still need to poo. Karen suggested cleansing tea, so I'll try and get some today. How is this possible though? I'm still right where I need to be. This is the most awesome diet ever invented! Or discovered as it were.

I finally ate at lunch time. My eggs got delivered so I fried a couple up. I had a couple melba toasts while Jon was making dinner. We had tuna salad sandwiches. I just had the tuna salad. Then Caedon brought me the peanut butter and we both had a couple spoonfuls. Then he brought me the strawberry jam, and we had a couple spoonfuls of that. It was a crazy day. I'm about to go back to work and I had to finish all my training. Hopefully I will get more food and the house and more time on my hands and I can get back to eating right. Even if I'm not gaining, I'd like to be eating well. Yesterday was really bad and I can tell it in my energy. Today was bad just because I didn't eat enough so now I feel tired and unsatisfied.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Day 50 - I'm not a gainer!

Day 5 Maintenance 181.8 lbs
TL: 27.2 lbs
FMW: -.2 lbs

I'm not a gainer! Two brownie bites didn't ruin me! I lost .6lbs today. I also haven't pooed in a day or so. It COULD be all the cheese. This is really going to be a tough 6 weeks emotionally. I need to learn how not to hang on every day's gain or loss. It's like a freakin' roller coaster. I really want to just start weighing once a week but that's not the rules. I guess it will get easier. I'm still fresh off of the "lows" from VLCD. I should start mellowing here any day now. Overall I'm impressed with the consistency of my weight. I was expecting it to be much harder. Once again Dr. Simmons knows his stuff. I'm expecting the second half of Maintenance to be more difficult though. Once I add carbs back, I'll really have to watch what I'm eating. Right now it's easy because I can eat what I want.....except carbs....and it's a breeze.

Today was difficult. There is hardly anything left in the house that I can eat. All the cheese is gone. All the eggs are gone. All the leftovers have carbs in them. We're at the end of a pay cycle and the end of the grocery list. I wound up having a brownie bite and big glass of milk. Horrible, I know. But my other choices were cereal, oatmeal, rice, pancakes, french toast, gravy and biscuits....all the stuff I still have to make for breakfast. If you can't tell.....we are kind of carb heavy in our diet. But like most people, financially, carbs make sense!

For lunch I made some chicken salad using canned chicken. CANNED! Ugh. Who actually eats this stuff? It was disgusting and I wound up eating two homemade chicken nuggets made from REAL chicken and with whole grain breading, and a couple of REAL french fries from potatoes I sliced up myself.

For dinner we were supposed to eat at the Blue and Gold banquet. Eythan is "crossing over" today. That means he will no longer be a cub scout but a BOY scout. My little man is growing up. I ate a huge hunk of mozzarella cheese before I left just in case there was nothing there I could eat. There was a bunch of fresh veggies and salads to choose from so I did just fine....until the cupcakes. The glorious blue and gold cupcakes. Cupcakes made with love by someone who really knows how to bake and made them from scratch, icing and all. Lemon cupcakes that were so moist I could feel them through the cupcake wrapper when I got Caedon one. I couldn't hurt Kelly's feelings. She had worked so hard. She had slaved all day to make these moist, delightful treats from scratch. No, I was a good friend. A GOOD friend I tell you! So I chose a scrumptious lemony lemon moist and gooey golden cupcake.  I took one bite and handed it to Jon. I'm also a good HCG dieter!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Day 49 - I Really like brownies.....

Day 4 Maintenance
182.4 lbs
TL: -26.6lbs
FMW: + .4 lbs

I "lost" .6 lbs today. But with the inconsistent weigh yesterday that's probably not accurate either. The good thing is, I'm still under. I'd like to still be under 182, but as long as I'm under 184 I'm clear. It seems as if I'm gaining .2 lbs a day on maintenance. That's not good. I guess it's not bad either though. If it's consistent, I'll have 3 weeks before I have to have a steak day. I'm also in the middle of a fertile cycle. During the VLCD of this diet, I gained a little then too. Overall, I'm not worried. I should probably be a little better though. Jon came home with a Hershey bar last night and said I deserved a piece. I didn't even have a whole square, just a sliver. It was really good, but not worth it.

We ate a really late breakfast this morning. I made pancakes from scratch. Of course I couldn't have that so I made myself a mushroom and mozzarella omelet. Since we ate a late breakfast we just had an early lunch so I made some lemon pepper tilapia with broccoli and homemade bread. I skipped the bread. But then the kids wanted to make brownies. I caved and made them. I ate two brownie bites. THAT was worth it. I'm such a loser. I take that back. I'm a gainer and that's worse. It probably won’t be worth it in the morning.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Day 48 - Still in the red

Day 3 Maintenance
183.0 lbs
TL: -26 lbs
FMW: +1

Well it looks as if I gained 1.2 lbs today. But I don't think that is entirely accurate. First of all I didn't get home until 10:30 am from the lock in and I had eaten a couple slices of sausage and some oj. I did go number 2 before I weighed so it is semi accurate. Tomorrow I'll know better how well I'm doing. I was still hungry when I got home so I had an egg. Later, after I woke up from a nap, I had a spoon full of homemade peanut butter and then some cheese for lunch. I made lasagna for dinner and before I put it together I put some of the meat, sauce and cheese in a bowl for me. It was great not having to make two meals and just modifying the one for me. I also posted before and after pictures. Just click on the photos tap at the top.

Day 47 - It actually works!

Day 2 Maintenance
181.8 lbs
TL: -27.2 lbs
FMW: -.2 lbs

Yeah! I'm still under my maintenance weight! I only gained .2 lbs today. I guess that's to be expected. I'm not going to stay exactly the same weight I guess. Maybe if I hadn't had the extra serving of beans it would have been better though. I wasn't hungry at all this morning. In fact I was a little nauseated when I was cooking eggs and sausage to go in my yummy tortillas. I got hungry around 9 though and ate a little egg and sausage with cheese. It was just enough.

For lunch I made quesadillas for the kids and I just had the insides of one. The evening was a little more difficult. We had a lock in for the girl scouts. They had pizza, oranges, oatmeal cream sandwiches, and gummy bears. I took my water and ate the tops off a couple pieces of pizza. I also had some orange slices. I stayed up until way after midnight and wound up eating another top of another piece of pizza. I think it was overall a pretty successful day.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Day 46-Excited, a little scared, and little puke

Day 1 Maintenance
181.6 lbs
TL: -27.4 lbs
FMW: -.4 lbs

It wasn't as bad as could have been. I gained .4 lbs. I'm still in the clear.

This morning was interesting. I woke up again early and couldn't sleep due to the sounds emanating from my tummy. I was so ready to indulge in all the decadent foods I'd been missing for 40 plus days. It was kind of like getting your drivers license though. Remember all the plans you had? All the places you were going to go and all the things you were going to do? Then you get your license and all you could think of was going to Sonic to get a route 44 and then go home because you actually were a little scared of all the freedom. Ok well maybe not YOU, but that was me. That's how I felt this morning. I could have so many things and there was so much freedom, but I was actually a little scared that this whole process wouldn't work. I was afraid if I did what Dr. Simmons says I would gain weight. THAT would suck more than anything else after the deprivation of the past 40 plus days.

I made, eggs with cheese, strawberries, homemade chocolate crunch cereal, and a glass of raw skim milk (I used the fat skimmed to make the butter I cooked the eggs in...I'm so industrious!). I, of course, did not have the cereal as it was made of oatmeal and had honey and sugar in it. I didn't go overboard due to my fears and it was a good thing. I had about 1 egg, 1 giant strawberry, and about 1/2 cup of milk. This was plenty. If I had made more eggs I wouldn't have eaten them. I was completely full and satisfied! I even wound up feeding some left over eggs to the dogs...not enough to save.

Then Caedon threw it all up in the middle of the family room floor. It is always worth mentioning at this point, a miracle in a bottle. I believe that God, in his great love and compassion, has provided us with the cure for every disease. We just have to find it. Old wisdom sometimes had the answers and we have just forgotten over the ages. The cure for stomach viruses is Bentonite. You can get it at any health food store. It is clay mud. It absorbs everything in your stomach and passes it quickly with out the slightest bit of discomfort. Since we were introduced to it, our family has not suffered with stomach viruses. We may feel queasy and tired but we don't vomit for hours on end. We might a few loose stools but no explosive diarrhea. This stuff WORKS! We always have a bottle at home and now we have one at our parents’ houses too just in case. With kids around, it is always something we have to deal with and now at the first sign, we all take the bentonite and we're good to go!

So for lunch I had the left over stir fry I made on Tuesday. It was sooooo goooood! My new favorite spice is paprika! I've always had it and never used it. I read a recipe using it the other day for an Asian meal so I tried it. It is sweet. Not just nice, but sweet tasting. You might try it on something if you’re having a sweet tooth.

I made bean burritos for dinner. I've been experimenting with homemade refried beans. I was actually able to legally taste them this time so I'm getting close to perfecting my recipe. They were very tasty. I also made homemade tortillas. I tasted a corner of one. Now I've made yummy tortillas before, but these were scrumptious! Velvety soft, chewy but not tough, and just a hint of saltiness.....and they were whole grain. Maybe it's just my carb deprivation, but these were the best tortillas I've ever had....including Ted's and they're tough to beat. So maybe I had two corners but that's it! I just piled beans on my plate and doused them with cheese, sour cream, cheese, salsa, cheese, tomatoes, onions, cheese, and cheese. It was so good I had seconds...and that was a mistake. I think my eyes are literally bigger than my stomach now. I was miserable the rest of the night. I've never wanted to make myself throw up before last night. It had nothing to do with calories and everything to do with being completely uncomfortable that my stomach was so full. I probably only had a total of about a cup of food. In the past, I might have eaten even more. Yesterday it was twice as much as my stomach was willing to hold. So not only does this diet help for 40 days, but your stomach is physically changed so that you can't eat as much when it's over! I’m really nervous about what the scales will say tomorrow though.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Day 45 - Last day...I be bad

Day 43 VLCD
181.2 lbs
TL (total loss): -27.8 lbs
FMW(from Maintenance weight): -.8lbs

I lost .6lbs today. My tummy is making up for not being hungry yesterday though. I couldn't even sleep early this morning it was screaming so loud. I was half tempted to start maintenance a day early. I knew what eating the wrong foods does though if you have HCG in your system!

To bad I didn't keep that out look. It started with making homemade chicken nuggets. I had to taste them to make sure they were ok. Karen said I should let someone else taste the food. But when I experiment like this I need to taste it so I know how to make it better next time. I only ate one chicken nugget. Then I had crab bisque for lunch. Then the big mistake. I thought I would make potato soup because the NEXT time I make it I should be able to have a little. That didn't work. I probably had 1/2 a cup when it was all said and done. Hopefully tomorrow won't be my first steak day!!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Day 44 - Almost there

Day 42 VLCD
181.8 lbs
Total Loss: 27.2 lbs
From Maintenence Weight: -.2 lbs

I lost .2 lbs today. Is it sad I'm thinking, "Ooo! That's .2 lbs I can gain back!"

Today was uneventful...I was actually not hungry today. I had bruchetta chicken for lunch and though I had planned on eating dinner I wasn't hungry enough so I just had Melba toast and OJ. I made an awesome dinner and tasted it to make sure the spices were right since it was kind of thrown together. I made chicken stir-fry with celery, onion, zucchini, squash and tomatoes. I set aside a small container so I can have it on Thursday. It is completely legal as long as I don't add the rice. I'm sooooooo tired of the VLCD. I need to eat cheese.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Day 43 - Acceptable

Day 41 VLCD
182.0 lbs
-27 lbs

Well, I said I like even numbers. I'm only down .4 lbs today and that leaves me 2 lbs short of my goal. This is acceptable though. Though unlikely I could still go down two pounds during maintenance. :)

I woke up several times during the night with rumblys in my tummy. I was hungry this morning too. With the way I've felt the last week I'm sure my HCG was loosing it's stuff. Next time won't be that way. Jon and I are doing it together so we will do four 5,000 units and take our injections out of the same one. Every 10 days we will get fresh HCG. I've still got to be good though. After witnessing the affects of indulgence on HCG, cheating is not something I want to do to my maintenance weight. It's crazy what you gain just by eat a piece of ham.

I was starving all morning. We did a tour of Channel 9 and met the meteorologist for Charis' Girl Scout troop. It was really fun, but by the time I got home I was about to faint. I grabbed an OJ and two melba toasts while I put together some lemon tilapia and broccoli. Half way into the tilapia I was full. I thought I was done but, WHAMO 20 minutes later I was rumbling again. I finished it off and still had rumblies. I managed until dinner. I forgot I had oj earlier and had another glass and melba toast. I should have eaten a full meal but I didn't have time to cook. I never have time to cook on Monday’s and we always have left overs or sandwiches....neither of which I can have yet. Then I went grocery shopping for all the yummy stuff I can have in a couple of days. I didn't manage to drink all my water again today. So I’m not looking for a loss tomorrow, only that I’m between 180 and 184.

Day 42 - Home Stretch

Day 38 HCG
Day 40 VLCD
182.4 lbs
-26.6 lbs

Woo Hoo! Down 1.4 lbs! One more of those! Come on baby just 2.4 lbs away from my goal.
Today was difficult to say the least. We got up early and packed the u-haul in Dallas with our remaining stuff from Rena's house. We waited for the SNOW to melt a little and had an early lunch there. I had steak and tomato. I drank some water but I didn't want a repeat of our trip down sitting in traffic about to pee on myself so...just a little water. We sat in traffic for hours turning a 3 and 1/2 hour trip into 5 so I'm glad for that decision. We stopped by family's house on the way there. They served pizza but I came prepared with OJ and some nasty melba toast I bought the other day. It was supposed to onion flavored but I do NOT recommend it. We didn't get home until 8 and then we had to unpack and get the u-haul back. I was determined to drink my water though and managed 54 oz before I want to bed. What ever I weigh in the morning is my maintenance weight.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Day 41 - I'm P.O.'d

Day 37 HCG
Day 39 VLCD
183.8 lbs
-25.2 lbs

What the @#$%!? I'm only down .2 lbs. I was PERFECT yesterday. PERFECT! I am so done. Since I have to stay on the VLCD three more days I'm going to finish the shots, but I've had it. I'm ready to move on and get a normal life back. Hopefully I'll be ready again in 6 weeks. Jon is ready to go, but I don't know if I will be. Being hungry and not loosing weight don't mix with me. If I'm hungry, I should loose weight. I didn't so I'm upset. I'll get over it, but right now I'm fuming.

Like now I'm fine because my mom gave me a pair of 12 jeans that were too big for her. They fit me!! Yes...12s. They were a little tight, but not so tight I didn't wear them all day!

I ate some chicken fajitas before we left for the baby shower. I have to say I was remarkable! Cupcakes, cookies, cream cheese dip, chicken salad sandwiches, cranberry, cream cheese and turkey paninis....I turned them all down! AND I was serving them. I did eat 4 cherry tomatoes. Totally legal! I had my OJ and melba when I got home. I'm starving right now. But I vowed not to cheat for the last shots. All I could eat was the steak I brought but then I would have nothing for tomorrow. I can make it.
As I was explaining this diet today as people oooed and awed over my weight loss, I realized why I’m having a hard time loosing right now. This is the weight I was at after Charis was born and after Eythan was born. I was there for a while with both. I’m ok with that now. I’ll loose it next round and then I’ll be off an running because my next platue would not be until 140 lbs. which is what I was in High school and College.

Day 40 - Decisions, Decisions

Day 36 HCG
Day 38 VLCD
184 lbs
-25 lbs

Suck! I gained .6 lbs. Ham must not be on the list for a reason. Plus I sat on the couch all day with my face in the computer. (I'm starting back to work and I have to learn a new program). I also don't have 4 days of injections left now. I had a first today. After you stick the needle in, you are supposed to pull back on the plunger to make sure you haven't hit a vein. I've wondered this whole time if I'm pulling back enough. Let me tell you. You will know instantly if you have hit a vein with the slightest of tugs. The whole needle syringe fills with blood and freaks you out! I can't use that syringe or dose so I have three left. Then I was filling up my needles to go out of town today and I only had enough HCG for 1 1/3 shots. So I only have 2 to go. My decision is, am I done today or do I do the last two? First of all, my scale needed new batteries today. I got on and it said 185.4. I almost passed out. I got off, took a breath and tried again. It said 186.6. "NO! NO! NO!" I screamed in my head. I tried again. This time it said 183. 6. I could have taken that weight, but I knew something was up. I changed the batteries and then consistently got 184.0. If I had been up 3lbs I would have quite. This deprivation is not worth that. I have a big weekend with baby showers and traveling. But even if I quite today, I still have to do the VLCD for three days. So either way is going to be hard. I might as well go two more days and get, hopefully, two pounds closer to my goal. I'm NOT going to cheat for the last 2 shots. I desperately want to reach my goal. I'm still struggling with hunger though. This last week has definitely been different from the first ones. I was not hungry at all during the first weeks. During my period and this last week I've been starving. If I eat more I don't loose though. Activity level helps, but that's not on the docket the next couple days. I have too much to do to exercise.

I was perfect today. I had herb encrusted tilapia with broccoli for lunch and two melba toasts and OJ for dinner. I ate NOTHING else. That ought to get me back to where I was!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Day 39 - Recoop

Day 35 HCG
Day 37 VLCD
183.4 lbs
-25.6 lbs

Well I think that will work. My activity level must have helped. I'm down 1.4 lbs today. I was beginning to think I wouldn't have a shot at my goal. Todays loss puts me in reach!

I did pretty good today. I had my leftover steak and tomatoes from Spaghetti warehouse. I had grissini and OJ for dinner since I'm out of Melba toast. I just ran out of OJ too. I made beans for dinner and ate a couple tiny pieces of ham out of them. I guzzled a liter of water around 9 because I totally forgot about it! I was cleaning out the garage with Jon and it just slipped my mind. Tomorrow is a big day. Maybe it will equal big loss. I just want to get to 180. I'm only 3.4 lbs away.

Day 38 - Eythan's Birthday

Day 34 HCG
Day 36 VLCD
284.8 lbs
-24.2 lbs

I'm down .4 lbs. I had a challenging day today. It was Eythan's birthday. First thing, we went to Spaghetti Warehouse for lunch. I was good. I got the sirloin and spaghetti and gave the spaghetti to Eythan. He felt like he got an adult plate. I also got tomatoes for my salad. The only cheats I had were, I really really wanted to taste the roasted red pepper alfredo sauce. I had a tiny taste and the then a bigger one. It was a very interesting flavor. I'm going to have to try and make that soon. Then they brought out the 7 layer chocolate cake. It looked soooo gooood! I took a tiny taste. It wasn't so good...so I was good. then we walked about two miles to the Bass Pro along the river walk. We spent the next 6 hours selling girl scout cookies and blue and gold sausage on the street corner. I got sunburned and sore. I drank tea and water. I finally got home and had my Melba toast and oj around 7:30. Everyone else was eating cheese cake so I savored a smidge of that too. I was pooped and sat on the couch until bed time and then I crashed. We'll see if my activity will be enough compensate for my cheats.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Day 37 - Water is very important

Day 33 HCG
Day 35 VLCD
185.2 lbs

I'm only down .2 lbs. That's ok. I didn't have the greatest day yesterday. I had two glasses of OJ and two servings of carbs. I normally only have one of each. I also didn't drink nearly enough water which I think is the biggest culprit here. I haven't been saying much about it but getting the minimum amount of water, 2 liters, is actually very difficult. I have to plan more for my water intake than anything else. Like yesterday we had a 3 hour trip to make. Should have thought ahead. Today I was supposed to sell Girl scout cookies for 5 hours....on the street....couldn't be having to pee there. I have to think ahead. But it is so very important to at least have the minimum. I rarely get over the minimum. It is very hard and sometimes makes me feel sick.

I didn't wind up having to sell GS cookies until tomorrow, but I did have to meet family for lunch at Chick'fila. There is nothing I can eat there. NOTHING. So I made chicken and zucchini sautéed in balsamic vinegar and took it with me. I did great. I finished the rest of the day as usual. I was perfect! Ok...I wasn't perfect. I made a strawberries and cream streusel for Eythan's birthday. I HAD to try it. I was pretty good. I only had one bite though.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Day 36 - Grissini sticks are dangerous and size 14s

Day 32 HCG
Day 34 VLCD
185.4 lbs
-23.6 lbs

Well, I lost another .6 lbs. If I keep this up I'll JUST meet my goal. Something is worrying me though. I woke up this morning with a deep hunger growling in my stomach. Yesterday I was hungry in the afternoon too. I really don't want this to stop working right here at the end. I want to make my goal. It's only 8 days away.

While I was fixing a lunch of stir fried broccoli and scallops I crunched on a grissini stick. I got the noodles out of the pantry for the kids and as I turned I raised the grissini stick to my mouth but my hand didn't know by body had turned and I stuck it in my nose. Ha, ha. Have a good laugh. That's what I did even though it hurt badly. The next thing I know blood is gushing from my nose and it did even until after lunch. Be CAREFUL with those grissini guys...they're dangerous. After lunch I was still hungry so I had a glass of OJ. I'm really starting to get nervous. I don't want to be hungry.
Later on in the day I was doing some laundry, both my hands occupied, and I had just about had it with my pants falling down. I found a pair of jeans the other day I hadn't worn in a couple years. They were 16s but very tight 16s. I was wearing them in hopes they would stay on. Today they were falling off just like all the others. I remembered my mom had given me a pair of 14s when Caedon was born but I never was able to wear them. I knew where they were though and I thought, "Why not give it a try. They'll probably be too tight, but what the heck. No one is looking." I put them over my feet and there was actually not a fight to get them past my thighs. I was pretty sure they wouldn't button though. BUT THEY DID. I didn't even have to suck in! I'm sitting on the couch typing right now and I can breathe!!! I'm officially in 14s!!!! I want to shout it from the mountain tops!!! But I live in Oklahoma, and there aren’t any around so I'll blog it with a bunch of exclamation points!! I'm a 14! I can shop in regular people cloths now!!! Plus size no more!!!

I had more OJ and melba toast for dinner. I did pretty good until I was cleaning up after dinner and Charis had some onions left in her bowl. I inhaled them....and the potatoes that where clinging to them. I also didn't drink nearly my water quota for the day. I may have drunk a 1/2 liter. I just got busy and then it was time to pick up Eythan and I couldn't drink before we left because I didn't want to pee all the way to Ardmore and we didn't get home until 10:30 and I didn't want to be peeing all night. We'll see how this affects my weight loss tomorrow. I did however get through everyone eating ice cream, hamburgers and french fries at the Brahms we meet at. Not one bite!

Day 35 - Working with life

Day 31 HCG
Day 33 VLCD
186 lbs
-23 lbs

I'm down .6 lbs. I was actually hoping for a little more since I ate perfectly yesterday and was active outside all day too. Oh well, .6 is better than nothing.

We were a little off due to the time change and wound up going out about 12. No one had eaten and we decided to go out to eat. I was a little peeved because there is pretty much no place fast for me to eat. We decided to go to Texas Road House which I knew exactly what to order there. I had a few peanuts there because I was hungry and if I didn't eat something I would wind up eating one of those luscious rolls. I figured Peanuts were better than a roll for a cheat. It wound up being about the same for us to eat there as McDonalds because Charis and I shared the 6 oz steak and I got tomatoes and she got potatoes! It cost about $20 for our family to eat at McDonalds. It cost us $26 with tip to eat at Texas Road House.

I got a little nervous in the afternoon because I was hungry again. I had my OJ and melba toast but only an hour later I was hungry again. I had a few licks of peanut butter. We were out so I was making some more and I needed to find the right salting amount. I wound up putting none in because it tasted to good without. I hit the water pretty hard but wound up having two bites of bread because I tried making whole grain bread instead of just white flour and I wanted to see what it tasted like anyway. I was still hungry though. I really hope this isn't an omen.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Day 34 - And I've been wrong before

Day 30 HCG
Day 32 VLCD
186.6 lbs
-22.4 lbs

Ok. I was wrong. I lost 1 lb today. I guess I wasn't as bad as I thought, and I was standing and chasing Girl Scouts all day yesterday. Not to mention it was FREEZING so I'm sure that ate up some calories too. This is what I'm thinking. I have the extra days to do the HCG but this is becoming incredibly tedious and I so need a break. IF I make my goal by day 40 I'm going on maintenance. If not, I'll go until my HCG is gone. I really want to make that 180 mark. I haven't been lower than 181 since Charis was born almost 9 years ago. I looked GOOD then and I have the pictures to prove it. Of course I gained it all back to 199/200 in a matter of months. Not this time. I have the tools to keep it off, or I'm going to get them during maintenance, and I have a bunch of great online HCG mentors that will keep me on track!

I had bruchetta chicken for lunch today and then my melba toast and OJ later on. I worked hard today, all day, on my garden. I'm sitting here now watching my family eat cheesecake chimichangas. It's really not even tempting. But just to make sure I drank a liter of water so nothing is tempting.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Day 33 - A curveball

Day 29 HCG
Day 31 VLCD
187.6 lbs
-21.4 lbs

Yes! I'm down another .6 lbs. This is what I was used to before the fateful period.

I was totally not prepared for today. I thought I was but when life throws a curveball you better not be on the HCG diet. I sold Girl Scout cookies from 11-6 today. I took my melba toast with me and planned on getting an oj at the sonic next door to the spot we were selling at. That worked for the first hour or two. I thought I would be done in time to have a late lunch but it didn't work out that way. By 3 I was starving. I was trying to determine my best course of action and I decided that I would just eat what was left of Caedon's burger. It was a Jr. burger and was about 2/3 gone. I took the meat and tomato out and ate that. It really helped me make it until I could come home. I got home around 6:30 and thought I could make it through the rest of the night but I soon realized that I would start cheating like crazy if I didn't eat something. I made lemon pepper fish and broccoli. Before it could get done I ate a morsel of meatloaf off Caedon's plate. I just can't get hungry. I have no will power when I'm hungry. I think over all I did well though considering my predicament. I don't plan on any weight loss tomorrow. The biggest reason is that I didn't eat dinner until 7:30. The later I eat, the less I loose.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Day 32 - Proud of myself

Day 28 HCG
Day 30 VLCD
188.2 lbs
-20.8 lbs

I Lost .6 lbs. I’m so proud of myself today. I had bruchetta chicken for lunch and then I had a challenge. I met my mother in Ardmore to give her Eythan for the weekend. I put my melba toast in the diaper bag and headed out. We met at Brahms, like we always do, and my mom bought everyone ice cream and hamburgers. I asked for an OJ. I had OJ and melba toasts while everyone else chowed on ice cream! Yeah ME!!!

I had a great day. For the first time, when I looked in the mirror today, I could tell I've lost weight. I could actually see my jaw bone! OH, and I have a neck!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Day 31 - Back in business

Day 27 HCG
Day 29 VLCD
188.8 lbs
-20.2 lbs

I lost .8 lbs. Although it doesn't add much to my total, I feel like I'm back on track. I wasn't hungry when I woke up this morning and I peed like a race horse yesterday which seems normal on the HCG for me. I also feel like I have some of my energy back. Since I started the HCG I've not been able to sleep past 6:30. Just two days off the HCG I had to drag myself out of bed again. This morning I couldn't go back to sleep at 6 even though I could have. Yeah!! I love HCG. I HATE my period. Stupid period ruined everything.

I had my left over steak and tomatoes for lunch. The only "cheating" I did was taste testing. I’m trying to make the kids a homemade cereal that tastes like captain crunch. It's pretty good so far, I just need to make it fluffier and less dense. I think a little more baking powder will fix that. We shall see. I also taste tested the mashed potatoes for diner to make sure they had enough salt. I really wanted to taste test the meatloaf but I did good and drank my OJ and ate my melba toasts.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Day 30 - About to give up

Day 26 HCG
Day 28 VLCD
-19.4 lbs
I gained .6 lbs. I'm pretty upset. In my worst dreams I would have stayed the same today. But gained .6 lbs? I was SO hungry yesterday and if I had actually eaten when I was I can't even imagine what I would have gained. I turned down moonpies. MOONPIES! Tomorrow better be miraculous or I give up and go on maintenance. I can't NOT be loosing weight and especially gaining weight. As I've said before, I don't have the patience or the will power for this. Without results, I'm done. So now, in the past week, I've lost .4 lbs instead of a pound. I need to quite thinking about it or I'll quite today.

So I was starving this morning and my HCG support group friends told me to eat a lot of steak and tomatoes to get the hunger under control. I made a double portion and the good news is I only ate half of it. My hunger was quenched. I didn't get hungry again until around 5:30 so I had my oj and melba toast. I was fine except for the fact that I made chicken and dumplings for dinner so I had to taste it several times to get the seasoning right. I also had half a dumpling to make sure the dough was done before I fed it to anyone. I suppose I can feel the HCG beginning to work again because I'm not nearly as hungry as I was yesterday and it was much easier to stop at just tasting the meal I was cooking and not indulging. Still waiting for my miracle tomorrow though.

Day 29 - Pretty bad week

Day 25 HCG
Day 27 VLCD
189.0 lbs

Well I'm down .6 lbs. That's pretty good. It's really disheartening when I realized I've only lost 1 lb since Thursday though. Of course some of that is my fault. But that, coupled with the ever growing rumble in my tummy makes me realized the impact HCG has on the weight loss. I decided to start my injections again today even though things are not completely wrapped up on the TOM. That issue would drag on for days and days more with very slight spotting and I can't take this diet anymore without the HCG. I even had to eat breakfast this morning I was so hungry and I haven't been hungry in the mornings not one day since I started the HCG. I had OJ and melba toast. I continued to be hungry and at lunch time the scallops and tomatoes just didn't seem to be enough. By dinner time I was famished and did a bad thing. There were some refried beans and rice Caedon left on his plate, only about 4 spoon fulls total, but I ate it. It curbed my hunger and I made it through the rest of the night.

So one of three things is happening. Hopefully it's just that the HCG is out of my system for not having it a couple days and it will build back up and I won't be hungry anymore. Or I could be getting a tolerance to HCG which can happen but is probably unlikely since I've been off it for a couple days. Or my HCG could be going bad. I'm pretty sure it's the first thing though and I should be back to "hcg normal" in a day or two. I've seriously not been hungry for 29 days, and to all the sudden be hungry is very, VERY hard. I don't see how anyone could do a VLCD without HCG.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Day 28 - Just what I deserved, now moving on

Day 26 VLCD
189.6 lbs
-19.4 lbs

Well, I gained .4 lbs. I totally deserved it. But hopefully I've got that out of my system and I can move on. One thing about this diet is that it can drive you nuts if you let it. It just finally got to me yesterday. If you are going to do this diet and have to continue to cook for others, just realize it's going to be a huge challenge. Doable, but a challenge. Next time I do this, Jon is doing it with me so I won't be cooking "good food" as much. But this time I still have a family to care for and I still want them having wholesome meals instead of eating out. All the pent up food frustration just finally exploded in me yesterday with such awesomeness surrounding me like baked potato soup, homemade spaghetti, and cheddar cheese. I think I'm better now though. I've got about 15 days to loose the last 10 lbs I'd like to loose and I’m going to do it. Starting now.

I had chicken and broccoli stir fry for lunch while everyone else had Ted's fajitas for carry out. I even did fine having my OJ and melba toast while everyone had leftover Ted's, potato soup, and spaghetti. I wanted to cry though. I'm seriously ready for this to be over. I'm pretty sure I will be able to keep things in moderation though. I just need more variety. It's worth it if I loose 30 lbs!

Day 27 - I'm a wiener...I mean WINNER!

Day 25 VLCD
189.2 lbs
-19.8 lbs

I lost another .4 lbs. That makes me a winner. I just want to see -20 lbs and I'm short .2 lbs. That's a wiener. I won first place in the soup cook off! I'm a winner. I probably ate a half cup of the stuff tasting it. I'm a wiener. Which kept me from loosing all the way to 20. I'm a wiener. But I’m not taking the HCG right now. I'm a winner. I had an egg for lunch which is allowed on occasion. I'm a winner. It was cooked in bacon grease. I'm a wiener. When I realized this I didn't eat a veggie. I’m a winner. But I couldn't resist a couple of spoonfuls of potato soup the kids were having for lunch. I'm a wiener. I regrouped and had two melba toast for a snack in afternoon. I'm a winner. But the cheddar cheese in the fridge was irresistible too, so I just took a honkin bite out of the pound of cheese like an animal. I'm a wiener. But it was just one bite and then I had my oj and melba toasts determined to move on. I'm a winner. Charis left her spaghetti sitting on the table and since I'd already screwed up so much today I figured why not and finished it off. I'm definitely a wiener......but it was soooooo goooood!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Day 26 - A contest and a load of......

Day 24 VLCD
189.6 lbs
-19.4 lbs
I'm down .4 lbs today. I really thought I would gain because I just didn't pee like I normally do. I drank the same amount of water and ate the same foods. I wonder if it’s my period or not having HCG? I woke up this morning to a rumbly in my tumbly and I got kind of nervous. By the time I cooked bacon and some rice cereal for the family, I wasn't hungry anymore and relieved!

I had a major obstacle this morning though. Jon's work was having a soup cook off this morning. Can you guess what I did? Yes, made soup. Can you guess what kind? Anyone? Can you guess? YES! Baked Potato soup!!! I'm totally going to win. But at what cost? We know how I can't handle this stuff. It's worse than girl scout cookies. One hundred bazillion times worse! Jon wanted me to stay for the tasting and the judging. I respectfully declined. If I win though, Jon gets a half day off. That's pretty nice! Maybe he can take it when I can start adding carbs to my diet and we can get a baby sitter and stay home all day and......eat baked potato soup!!!!

After "tasting" so much soup, I didn't think I would eat lunch. I got a little hungry when I started the kids lunch though so I had steak and onions. I was a little hungry by the time Jon got home, which was late so it was actually when I normally had my melba toast and oj. We had to run out, so I grabbed one to give me a little energy for our chore. We had to use the shovel we bought. You ready to find out the mystery shovel event? Horse poop. No really. We shoveled a van load of horse poop for my new garden! It was free too. You can't beat that. Jon took the kids out to eat after that and sat at home and ate melba toast and oj in complete solitude......complete bliss.

Day 25 - And then there were 10....

No HCG, TOM (Time of Month...sorry to any Toms out there!)
Day 23 VLCD
190.0 lbs
-19 lbs

At first I was disappointed when I weighed. I lost .6lbs which is cool, but only .1 lbs more and I would have been in the 80's!!! I haven't been there for three years and I wasn't there long. But then I realized that I was only 10 lbs away from by goal and I like even numbers! My goal was to loose 30 lbs this session and only having 10 lbs to go makes me realized just how far I've come. I also realized today that since I can't take my shots for a couple of days, which gives me a couple of days more on the diet! I'm sure I'll reach my goal of 180lbs now!

My day went great, although I did have to make spaghetti for our guests coming over. I made the sauce and noodles from scratch so I HAD to taste it to make sure it was ok. For lunch I had chicken with Italian herbs covered by the last of the marinara sauce I made. I need to make more. I need to make more crab bisque and tomato basil soup too! I had my oj and melba toasts with our guests for dinner. I "exercised" by pulling vines out of my fence row and some sticker bushes. I got covered in stickers. I need to find my clippers though to get some really tough ones. I also wrote another song. So pretty productive day. So far I can't tell the difference having not had my shot today. I did get a little nauseated in the afternoon though.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Day 24 - Not what I expected

Day 24 HCG
Day 22 VLCD
190.6 lbs
-18.4 lbs

I only lost .8 lbs. ONLY .8lbs. All I ate was a feakin' apple yesterday! Karen would tell me that it worked. I wanted to see something dramatic. On this diet .8lbs is not dramatic. I've lost more sneaking potato soup. I'll be ok though. There's no way I'm quitting this far into the game! 16 days too......cheese. How I dream of cheese, and milk, and refried beans and cheese, sour cream, salsa, spaghetti sauce and cheese, eggs and cheese.........

Oh! Sorry. You’re still here.

OK, pay attention ladies...men, shield your ears if you don't want to know about womanly things.

I started today. That means that I can't take shots until I'm done. Dr. Simmons says that we have to do this and that it should cause no ill effect. Hump! He's a man...how does he know?! Anyway, I'm pretty skeptical that I'm not going to get hungry all the sudden. We’ll just have to wait and see.

I did good today, I had citrus fish with broccoli and then OJ and melba toast for dinner. I did eat a half a thin mint. I’m telling you. They have mental powers of seduction!! It begged me to eat it. It had these excuses like "OH, I'm a poor crumbled cookie, inadequate to feed to your 3 year old. But OH! What a shame to waste me when people are starving all over the world. Eat me and honor your child and humanity!" Horrible, evil cookies!!!

I stepped up my exercise today too. It was warm enough to go outside today and I build my compost pile out of pallets I got out of the dumpster at the EXERCISE EQUIPMENT STORE. LOL! I wonder what they said when I left. "That fat chick needs the equipment, not the pallets they came in on."
Another exciting event today. My pants won't stay on, so got my MOST uncomfortable pair that I really haven't worn in two years because they were so tight. They fit!! By the end of the day I even had to pull them up. I also noticed when I was out today that I wasn't as self conscious as I normally am. I met an old friend and I wasn't ashamed for them to see me. I felt cute and NORMAL. It's amazing how 20lbs changes you.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Day 23 - Apple Day 2

Day 23 HCG
Day 21 VLCD
191.4 lbs
-17.6 lbs

Girl Scout Cookies are d' DEBLE! I gained .2lbs. In the big picture not a huge deal, but I've obviously hit a plateau. I did the same thing about 10 lbs ago if you remember. I didn’t do apple day right last time and it only resulted in a .6lb loss, so I’m going to do it right today and see if we can break this little pound party up. I can have a total of 6 apples, a minimum 3 hours apart. I can only sip on water to quench thirst. If I’m holding water (which is a possibly due to the time of month) then this should solve the problem. I’m also going to eat fresh apples instead of apple chips.

I really wasn't hungry at all. I sipped on water and finally about 3, I got hungry and ate an apple. That's it. That's my day. Water and one apple. Of course other things happened in my day besides not eating. I got up early and went dumpster diving to find enough newspaper to start my garden beds. I also found some lumber. I cleaned house and waited in anticipation for the Milk man to come. He brings me raw milk and pastured chicken eggs. Then I helped the kids with their school work, changed many pee pee pants, and in the afternoon I worked on our taxes. After dinner we went to the library and to Lowe’s. I'll tell you what I'm going to do with the shovel I bought tomorrow!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Day 22 - Muscle Mysteries

Day 22 HCG
Day 20 VLCD
191.2 lbs
-17.8 lbs
Another .6 lbs gone! I think I'll call the trip overall successful. Now the next time I travel it's for a baby shower so we'll see how THAT goes!

Remember the other day when I was talking about my muscles being weak? I was chatting with some friends in my HCG yahoo Support group and they brought a passage, out of Dr. Simmons book, to my attention. I won't quote it...it's totally boring. But in essence what he was saying, was that because you are loosing fat so quickly, and because some of that fat had deposited itself in and around your muscles, that your muscles are now somewhat stretched. Now that a bulk of fat is gone around them, they have to contract "extra" to make up for their length. It's not that your weak, it's that your muscles have to do double time. It corrects itself very quickly though, as I can attest to. Within a couple days I wasn't noticing the "weakness" anymore. I probably should read that book again. It's been a while! If you want to read the book, there is a link to the left for a free download.
So today was pretty easy for dieting....potty training my 3 year old was not so easy. He made a full load of laundry all by himself. I got hungry around 10 so I had a melba toast. I made baked Italian chicken (that's just Italian herbs and garlic powder) with some marinara that I made the other day. Caedon made me cheat. I decided that I would give him half a cookie every time he went potty in the potty. He only got half a cookie today. He brought me one later and the rest of the piece I split for him. I took it away and popped the little piece in my mouth with out even thinking. AHHH! It was so good. I think I'll be dreaming of thin mints tonight! Dinner was fine. I sampled the stuffing and tiny piece of chicken, but stuck with my OJ and melba toast for dinner. That Girl Scout cookie was evil though. It got into my head.