Day 40 - Decisions, Decisions

Day 36 HCG
Day 38 VLCD
184 lbs
-25 lbs

Suck! I gained .6 lbs. Ham must not be on the list for a reason. Plus I sat on the couch all day with my face in the computer. (I'm starting back to work and I have to learn a new program). I also don't have 4 days of injections left now. I had a first today. After you stick the needle in, you are supposed to pull back on the plunger to make sure you haven't hit a vein. I've wondered this whole time if I'm pulling back enough. Let me tell you. You will know instantly if you have hit a vein with the slightest of tugs. The whole needle syringe fills with blood and freaks you out! I can't use that syringe or dose so I have three left. Then I was filling up my needles to go out of town today and I only had enough HCG for 1 1/3 shots. So I only have 2 to go. My decision is, am I done today or do I do the last two? First of all, my scale needed new batteries today. I got on and it said 185.4. I almost passed out. I got off, took a breath and tried again. It said 186.6. "NO! NO! NO!" I screamed in my head. I tried again. This time it said 183. 6. I could have taken that weight, but I knew something was up. I changed the batteries and then consistently got 184.0. If I had been up 3lbs I would have quite. This deprivation is not worth that. I have a big weekend with baby showers and traveling. But even if I quite today, I still have to do the VLCD for three days. So either way is going to be hard. I might as well go two more days and get, hopefully, two pounds closer to my goal. I'm NOT going to cheat for the last 2 shots. I desperately want to reach my goal. I'm still struggling with hunger though. This last week has definitely been different from the first ones. I was not hungry at all during the first weeks. During my period and this last week I've been starving. If I eat more I don't loose though. Activity level helps, but that's not on the docket the next couple days. I have too much to do to exercise.

I was perfect today. I had herb encrusted tilapia with broccoli for lunch and two melba toasts and OJ for dinner. I ate NOTHING else. That ought to get me back to where I was!